“I was born in the wrong generation!” I scream as I churn my own butter and marry my cousin
when the person you like talks to you first
my laptop wasn’t working so I yelled “CRISTO” at it
the screen immediately turned black
I’m performing an exorcism now
Is that silly string?
its not silly string if its a very serious matter
“Ah, Perry the platypus!”
“What an unexpected -“
“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”
“By societal convention!”
“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”
“That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”
This show is fucking brilliant.
you read that in his voice don’t deny it
BATHTUBS ARE JUST REVERSE BOATS
get away from me
money is so stupid and unnecessary we’re meat creatures on a rock floating in space and our entire lives are dominated by little bits of paper
I’m pretty sure the reason why is because we live on a rock and paper beats rock.
oh my god
i’m gonna be a rapper and rap about ear hygiene. call me lil q-tip
do teenager house parties really exist or is that a hollywood myth
why do sit ups when you can just sit down